Monday, January 09, 2006

Resolve


9:00 invades my evening
I want to write and think and ride and ski
but I need sleep to be at my best at 5:30 in the morning
I want more life outside work
I’ve always had a tough time being two people
in the early years I was a teacher day and night
I carried the kids with me everywhere
I’d have to set them on the floor to write out my check at the grocery store
but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized they’re mine for only eight hours
the rest of the day is my own
now I want all day to be my own
but it can’t be
like everyone I’m two people
myself and my job
myself has ridden and raced
skied and drank beer
smoked the cigar-of-the-month
gone to late movies on a Sunday night
now I want to stay up until 2:00 and write something new
form it like Play-Doh
pinch it and pull it out so that it has form and shape
so that it plays and dances through another’s thoughts until he says
yeah it’s like that isn’t it
then sleep until 10:15 the next day
but I can't
I made resolutions for the first time in years
reduce the clutter in my life
get the sleep I need to stay healthy and balanced
because I lose-it if I’m tired all the time
and then I’m a sucker for
every germ that looks at me in that slutty way and says
baby take me home with YOU
so I’m posting this at 9:27 and I’ve already overshot my resolution
can I please be done with my resolutions now
nine days is so long to have resolve....

- not enough time in TOB's day....

5 comments:

Pete said...

I can second that emotion. Nice job.

Olaf Vanderhoot said...

uh oh.

i may have to revise my top-10 list.


good thing you're not a bella.
~oV

Ptelea said...

To me this is the biggest dilemma, balancing time. I don't think it gets any easier as I get older - I keep finding new things I like to do and don't give up enough other things to balance it out. Sleep becomes the pawn in this dilemma. Thank you for saying it so well!

Jen said...

oh man, there's never enough time in my day. oy. AMEN

the old bag said...

Thanks Pete -- if only we could ride our days away....

oV -- it makes my day to even have been mentioned in the same sentence as your top 10...but in reality??

TOO

MUCH

PRESSURE

MAN!

Ptelea -- sleep = pawn, indeed.

Jen -- I hear you're facing down semester tests! Head in there with yer guns blazin'.