...have a healthy relationship with someone who's unhealthy...
...just can't happen....
One can't make healthy connections with someone who isn't capable.
We assume everyone we meet is normal and therefore is capable of a normal human connection, but we need to keep in mind that there are those who aren't necessarily rational or mentally healthy and therefore are impossible to connect with in a positive and healthy manner.
Someone who is bonkers, even slightly, is impossible to engage in a normal, rational way.
You won't be able to connect to someone if she hasn't got her rocks together.
So the witch down the hall? don't even try!
-OB repeat after me....
9 comments:
Restraint in the face of adversity, very healthy indeed.
Botheration?
It's my new favorite word. Thanks for giving me the chance to use it. :-D
Ghee, she really got under your skin...
Definite botheration, Trée. I like the word!
Restraint indeed, WD. I was told by an ex-school-librarian-now-volunteer how calm and cool and professional all the library staff is -- it was a hairy day.
Groover, her words were correct but the tone was very accusatory and offensive. Resolution reached, but those things keep bugging me, to the point of keeping me awake -- helps to tell myself there are some with whom it's impossible to have a normal, professional relationship. It's outta my hands.
OB, you know my fondness for that "connecting with others" thing, but some people are like non-stick cookware. There's no way to overcome THEIR properties in order to connect. One tries, but slides off, as do probably many others who attempt to make the connection. And I'm sorry to say I get the losing sleep over it part, too. ;{
Noun 1. botheration - the psychological state of being irritated or annoyed
annoyance, irritation, vexation
mental condition, mental state, psychological condition, psychological state - (psychology) a mental condition in which the qualities of a state are relatively constant even though the state itself may be dynamic; "a manic state"
bummer - an experience that is irritating or frustrating or disappointing; "having to stand in line so long was a real bummer"
huff, miff, seeing red - a state of irritation or annoyance
pinprick - a minor annoyance
impatience, restlessness - a lack of patience; irritation with anything that causes delay
snit - a state of agitated irritation; "he was in a snit"
2. botheration - something or someone that causes trouble; a source of unhappiness; "washing dishes was a nuisance before we got a dish washer"; "a bit of a bother"; "he's not a friend, he's an infliction"
pain in the ass, pain in the neck, bother, infliction, annoyance, pain
negative stimulus - a stimulus with undesirable consequences
nuisance - (law) a broad legal concept including anything that disturbs the reasonable use of your property or endangers life and health or is offensive
irritant, thorn - something that causes irritation and annoyance; "he's a thorn in my flesh"
plague - an annoyance; "those children are a damn plague"
both⋅er⋅a⋅tion
/ˌbɒðəˈreɪʃən/ [both-uh-rey-shuhn]
–interjection–
1. (used as an exclamation indicating vexation or annoyance.)
BOTHERATION!
And a really good one will make you wonder which of you is the unhealthy one... until it's too late.
Badger, don't you know it! I'm really good at recognizing it in kids and am pretty darned skilled at calling it out and diffusing it. Adults are a different ballgame -- they have layers of "skills" surrounding their issues. I've gotta take take on a similar outlook with them that I have with students, but the complexities require a sharper scalpel.
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