Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Big Words, Beheading and a Commode

Inspired by Juancho's comments to my last post about rude drivers and my attitude of late: at least they know they've been told off by a poet.

A poem.
An English sonnet, in fact, with the following rhyme scheme, quatrains and ending couplet:
a b a b
c d c d
e f e f
g g

10 syllables per line, more or less, written in iambic pentameter.
The third quatrain generally introduces an unexpected sharp thematic or imagistic "turn" called a volta.
Whatever. I wouldn't say this has an obvious volta.... You decide. Should be enough to meet the structural criteria.
In Shakespeare's sonnets, the couplet usually summarizes the theme of the poem or introduces a fresh new look at the theme.
--some Wikipedia page written by my arrogant old Lit. professor, I'm sure
The last two lines definitely summarize, but it's not exactly a fresh new look...especially if you're a cyclist. In traffic. At the end of the work day. I'm sure you've had the same thoughts.

Sonnet to Drivers circa September 2009
Told Off by a Poet

Entitled motorist, you raise my ire
wrapped in jackassed, fatheaded ignorance
I scheme to hoist your head high upon spire
held victorious above shaming glance.
Self-bestowed, arrogant grandness surrounds
treasured possessions of fuel and wheel
noxious expletives rupture and rebound
reverberate within your box of steel.
Your offspring bears the insufferable curse
of deplorable, abhorrent guidance
supplied while learning their world to traverse
they tumble and careen toward subsidence.
A curse upon your existence bestowed
to spend it suspended in muck of commode.

- The Old English Bag who's really in a GOOD mood this week!


Once known as The Badger said...

Here, here! I'll drink to that!

rlove2bike said...

That is deep...and look it up...lol. Great poem too.

LimesNow said...

OB, I genuflect at the altar. I'm exhausted tonight and lack words. But I know this is one of the most wonderful things ever written/read! I'll pop on later, but I wanted you to know that I'll buy the T-shirt and wear it out. You ROCK!

Snakebite said...


Linda said...

But gee, OB, tell us how you REALLY feel...

Trée said...

I think I like this side of you.

Once known as The Badger said...

I especially like the part about hanging their heads on a pike. Sounds so Draculonian!

jeff said...

If I've ever been a rude driver, I'm sorry!

The Old Bag said...

The best part is seeing the faces as I'm yelling it all through someone's window.

WheelDancer said...

Nice post!

It'll take me a while to memorize this to shout at drivers through their windows but it just might be worth the effort.

LimesNow said...

WD ~ you've got to stop being so busy! I had the words tattooed on myself today and I'm learning them from memory! She's brilliant! ;} Limes, havin' fun . . .