Clutter

or
Rules Schmools

The Sweetie is in the midst of downsizing his life: more cycling, less driving, looking to simplify -- time to sell the big house and find something smaller and more urban. He's painting and cleaning, and is now facing the de-cluttering recommended by his realtor.

As someone who thrives on the high she gets from every bag of stuff she sets curbside for the local ARC, Disabled American Vets or Lupus Foundation, I had tons of suggestions I can make someone's head spin. Admittedly, whether or not one lives for this type of activity, one still needs to find the time to get after it.

For me, the get after it times happen during the slow parts of the year: good, rainy weekends during the spring and fall transitions between cycling and skiing (well after the school year has geared-up, and again in the spring well before it gears-up ONCE MORE), as well as during a chunk of my summer vacation when I have the time to do all things domestic...like now.

I explained some of the criteria I use. The tiny kitchen in my new, old house is woefully small compared to the kitchen in my old, new townhouse. When I moved-in things just had to go. So, coffee mugs for example. My favorites stayed. Those not used so often went into a box stored in the basement until I realized I didn't miss them and they could go out to the curb. Clothing not worn in two three?? years meets the same fate...except for certain things like the dress I wore to my 20th class reunion -- a fine piece...for 1999 anyway.

From there, the discussion moved-on to the garage which I'd just sorted-through...I recycled boxes, sorted drawers and tools, moved non-working and giveaway items over to one side, then took the leaf-blower to the floor.

My work there was done.

What about the bicycles? he says.

THE WHAT?!? I says.

The bicycles, he says.

I USE THEM...ALL SEVEN...EIGHT OF THEM. I says. EXCEPT FOR THE-

So... you've ridden the track within the last two years? he says

-FOR THE TRACK BIKE...AND OK, MARILYN...AND ALRIGHT NOT THE OLD MOUNTAIN BIKE...THE TRACK FRAME IS a work of art and it's either going on the wall or I'm turning it into a street fixie but I just haven't had the time and Marilyn doesn't GET ridden her sole purpose is to sit there and look all pretty with her magenta frame and handlebar streamers and remind me of my childhood and the day I first laid eyes on her sitting in the driveway on my 9th birthday as I got out of the truck and the old mountain bike is going to be a singlespeed and has components I'm going to transfer to my Frankenbike when I get around to getting some old frame to make a Frankenbike with and don't even get started on the drawer full of parts because they're all going to be used...

eventually

...SO OK, I'LL THROW OUT...UM...THOSE FIVE OLD PUNCTURED TUBES HANGING FROM THE RAFTERS BUT YOU KNOW THEY CAN BE USED FOR OTHER THINGS BESIDES on wheels like for loops to keep the garage door from blowing shut in the wind...and stuff....

- OB gettin' huffy