Thursday, July 01, 2010

How to Sell a Bicycle

Stop anthropomorphizing. Bicycles aren't people, friends, pets, ponies or sentient beings of any kind. We're the ones who develop attachments; frames and forks don't however, an aluminum seatpost and a steel seat tube....

Quit labeling bicycles as svelte, pretty, genius, hard core, sophisticated or genteel. They're made of [trendy or vintage frame material here] which makes the ride appropriately [stiff, noodly, spritly, harsh, quick].

Don't name your bicycle. Naming it causes problems in the same way it causes problems for the farm kid who inadvertenly names a chick, and then one day has to face Mrs. Peeper sitting on the platter in the middle of the supper table.

Realize that a bicycle never did "carry you away" "help you escape" or "open new doors". YOU pedaled yourself away. YOU escaped. YOU opened the doors. You chose to do it on a bicycle. Smart you.

Remember, a bicycle doesn't have eyes, a heart or memories. Your ride doesn't pine for you after you park it and head inside for the night. YOU experience these things. You will still have memories after a bicycle is gone.

Understand that your riding needs and interests change over time. These changes sometimes require you to sell an old bicycle in order to buy a new one that is a better fit...for instance: you need a mountain bike because Betty just doesn't go there. Don't worry, she won't care that you're two-timing her. She's cool in that way. So don't sell her, sell the old track bike.

Besides, you've gotta know that Italian track frame was just toying with you. Your only contact now is when you bump your head into him as you're grabbing something off the far garage shelf. And does he even say anything?!

Realize that a bicycle hanging in the garage not being used isn't living the life it deserves. Find it a good home with an owner who can give it what it needs: the open road, the parade, the back woods, the competition.

Sell it. And get over it. It's not a loss.

It's giving an old friend new life.

- The said goodbye to a couple of pals Bag


Linda said...

Darn, I'll need to rename Mr. Ed.

Mike J said...

Shoot! Are you saying I need to quit calling my bikes Thunder and Lightning? They might be mad at me :)

brother yam said...

I'm going through the same phase -- I love the Bleriot, but I don't ride it and I'd rather use the proceeds for a different steed.

Snakebite said...

"You chose to do it on a bicycle. Smart you. " I am pretty smart, aren't I?

Well put.

Have a great Holiday weekend!

LimesNow said...

I'll bow to your superior knowledge about bicycle sales, OB, but I had to pop on and say how wonderful it is to see you writing. It's been awhile and I've missed it.

Ha! WV - logyn. That's exactly what I did.

Once Known as The Badger said...

I don't know, riding my R3 is better than being in love! I'm sure it feels the same way about me ;-)

WheelDancer said...

So if you're getting rid of some bikes does that make room for me getting some more?

Jenny said...

Sounds like you're trying to convince YOURSELF! :)

Bluenoser said...

What if Eddy gave you the bike??


Dee said...

I thought it was just me. Anthropomorphizing machines. I still have most of my bikes, and have 'rehomed' a few. I should get a better road bike, some day, but I feel like a cheating lover just thinking about it.

The Old Bag said...

NONE of you are helping!

And if Eddy gave me the bicycle, I hope I'd be using it! Or, I'd hang it on the wall as art.