Awakenings

-O summer in the city B

Catharsis: The Domino Effect

from November...early post-concussion

Instead of flying on the night quiet
of neighborhood streets,
I dodged
demons
in the dark intersections of
the why of my life
until
Domino’s delivery
dabbed into my life
at the
dark intersection
of 28th and Hampshire.

I turned my headlamp into the windshield,
stared him to stop
and pedaled,
pissed
off.


- ob

Catharsis: Sea Legs

from November...early post-concussion

The bike lurched sideways
as studded tires clamped and rolled over icy bumps and patches
and I rehearsed my logic,
"be supple"
but my elbows stiffened
chest tightened
breath caught
...be
supple....
I rode past the turn for home,
tears freezing
because of fear
and freedom
and I wasn’t sure which was more terrifying.

-OB

Post Concussion Day #101

Wednesday was my first day back to work full-time -- I'm glad it's a 3-day week!

For the first three weeks of Dec., I gradually increased my time at work from a week of 4 hours every other day to 6 hours daily. Each week I dealt with mild headaches and concentration difficulties, but both gradually subsided as each week went on. I likened it to starting a new exercise routine: muscles that haven't been used are typically sore for a few days after increased activity. Seemed my brain was similar.

Back in early October, my GP and neurologist each said "oh no" and shook his head as soon as I started saying "I'm an elementary school-" even before finishing with "librarian" when I asked how to manage this thing combined with work. There just isn't anything that's anywhere near as taxing as dealing with a zillion children daily.

I still notice some lack of ability to filter, some frustration with interruptions, and some definite "brain farts" (WHAT was I just saying??)...I know we all have those, but these seem a bit more pronounced to me than usual. They're lessening in frequency, however.

And, speaking of exercise, I've been on the bike -- I feel more comfortable there than running or skiing, especially with studded tires. I don't feel as through I'm starting from nothing, and I'm not totally wiped out the day afterward. But, I'm slow. I have to talk my way through some things, like left-hand turns (I hit my left side in the accident), but the "auto-flinch" isn't as strong as it was initially.

I feel like an old lady in that I'm concerned with things like ice on the sidewalk (studs for the hiking boots just arrived--seriously!) and stupid drivers. I need to keep my noggin bump-free for another 3 months.

All-in-all, I'm feeling around 90-95% of typical.

There are other things for me to ponder now; larger small things like fragility, statistics, instances, thin lines, and probability have started making their way into my thoughts. I'll let them rattle around a bit and see what profundities they bring...

...great word, profundities....

- OB facebook excerpt